So I Read Paul Kohler’s Article…
Filed under: Moral Outrage, Blunt Truths, and War Crimes in HD
Fact checks by Baffled Becky, who just spit out her tea after reading the latest IDF press release.
It was one of those blisteringly hot mornings in Wimbledon felt like the sun had taken personal offence and decided to park itself right over SW19.
Kettle boiled. Toast slightly burnt and an egg. The usual existential dread brewing in the background. I opened the digital paper my usual morning ritual, halfway between habit and survival mechanism and there it was, Paul Kohler’s article. Now I’m an avid follower of the news, papers, radio, the occasional doom scroll it all feeds the beast. LBC gives me the noise, but the print gives me the subtext and today, the subtext screamed louder than the headlines.
Paul my local MP, part-time conscience owner, full-time fencepost ornament had actually said something real. About Gaza, of all things. Not just his usual routine of compassionate eyebrow raises and statements so neutral they could be used as wallpaper paste. No, this time he skipped the diplomatic blancmange normally served lukewarm and flavourless by his party’s PR department on what I can only assume is a steady diet of Xanax and denial.
He condemned war crimes. He called for a ceasefire and check this out brace yourself he went full political kamikaze and uttered the unsayable: “sanctions on Israeli officials.”
I had to reread it twice, squint, check the source, and sniff the paper more like my cracked iPhone to make sure I hadn’t hallucinated it. Was this satire? Deepfake? Had someone hacked his brain and replaced it with… I don’t know, a functioning moral compass? Whatever it was, it was glorious. Like finding out your goldfish can do taxes.
Let me tell you how I got to this point sweating like a Tory MP in a food bank. Hottest day of the year, and for some reason my heat-stroked brain thought, “Yeah, let’s do a workout. In hell.” Came out of it looking like I’d just run a marathon through a chip fryer. Towel round my neck, kettle screaming like a Daily Mail headline, and I figured, “Let’s give the brain a stretch now. Maybe read something not churned out by ChatGPT doing its best impression of a human rights lawyer on decaf.”and boom Paul’s piece landed in my lap like a sledgehammer wrapped in clarity. No faffing, no mealy-mouthed, middle-class think tank twaddle. Just truth, raw and unapologetic, kicking down the door like it pays rent. None of that “well, on the one hand…” nonsense. No “both sides” balancing act like we’re talking about rival bake sales.
Nahh this was a proper statement. Human. Honest. The kind of thing that slices through the usual diplomatic diarrhoea like a machete through red tape. So here I am half-cooked, full of rage, mildly caffeinated, and typing with the righteous energy of a man who’s just realised his taxes are funding war crimes while his local hospital’s been turned into a Weatherspoons.
Cheers, Paul. You lit the fuse because the raw truth is this, Paul if you’re reading or anyone else who’s somehow wandered into the chaos of my head.
Israel’s Government is Not a Democracy It’s a PR-Covered Crime Scene.
Before anyone clutches their pearls or reaches for their pre-approved talking points save it. I’ve been working class and hovering around Wimbledon for a few decades now. I was pretty much born here, raised here, survived here but being from a Bangladeshi background? Yeah, let’s not pretend people like me ever get seen from that polished Westminster balcony. We’re not the photo-op crowd. We’re the bottom-of-the-pile, carry-on-regardless crew and we’ve had enough.
Enough of my introverted mind pacing the walls in silence. So today I thought, sod it Paul you wrote something that sounded human for once, so I’m writing back. Here’s my brain, unfiltered, and probably screaming too loud but read it anyway.
I’ve had it with this tired, reheated claim that Israel is “the only democracy in the Middle East.” Yeah? and I’m a Michelin-star chef because I once made spaghetti hoops without burning the pan or the entire home down.
Let’s call it what it is. The Israeli government? Oo, you mean that high-functioning cartel of corrupt racists, biblical cosplayers, and authoritarian adrenaline junkies? Picture a parliament run by a mix of hedge fund villains, end times fanfiction writers, and guys who think "human rights" is a communist slur. That’s not a government that’s a Netflix supervillain origin story with a defence budget. They treat international law like a toddler treats a Lego set, Smash it, throw the pieces at the nearest UN official, then wail about “self-defence” when someone suggests cleaning up and yes, somehow they're still shocked the grown ups keep taking notes and now you want to talk about who’s running the world’s most heavily armed gated community?
Mate, imagine if Beverly Hills got tanks, a permanent air raid siren, and a divine land deed written in Comic Sans. That's Israel’s government like The Real Housewives of the Occupation, but with drones and genocide allegations instead of wine fights.
This isn't about "security." This is about insecurity with nukes and when they say they’re “the only democracy in the Middle East,” they mean it like a gated community means “private property” for the right people only, and everyone else gets the taser. Alright, pull up a chair and brace yourself, because this line-up makes a Mafia reunion look like a Rotary Club brunch. First up, we’ve got Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, the man who’s been on trial for corruption longer than most people keep a Netflix subscription yet still refuses to step down, clinging to power like it’s been welded to his ego with illegal settler cement. Then there’s National Security Minister Itamar Ben-Gvir, a bloke who was literally convicted of inciting racism and now walks around playing cosplay dictator like it’s part of the official dress code and let’s not forget Finance Minister Bezalel Smotrich, the human embodiment of a Facebook comment section, who once said “There is no such thing as a Palestinian people” which, for the record, is Holocaust denial’s twisted, mirror-universe cousin.
Sure, we’re supposed to believe this is the dream team defending “democracy.” Right and I’m the King of England in a high-vis vest. The only thing these lads are defending is their future VIP section at the International Criminal Court don’t be shocked if The Hague starts putting out place cards with gold embossing. I mean, I’ve read the sources (yes, I can read, shocker) BBC, The Guardian, Haaretz. All there. No PR team. No think tank fluffing the pillows. Just me, a working-class Londoner Bangladeshi by blood, British by postcode trying to make sense of a world that’s not just off the rails, but set fire to the tracks and called it policy.
Before you ask yes, Arabs and Iranians are allowed to defend themselves too. Shocking, I know. Somewhere in the dusty fine print of international law, it turns out brown people are also entitled to not be blown up. Who knew?
Funny how it works, though. Israel can drop a 500-pound bomb on a hospital, and it’s “self-defence.” but if a teenage child under occupation lobs a rock at a tank, suddenly it’s “terrorism” and the Pentagon’s drawing up maps. I mean, really? That tank had feelings, did it?
Let’s get something straight before the usual suspects start frothing at the mouth, Palestinians have been living under military occupation for over 57 years which, fun fact, is longer than Gaza has had electricity and yes, under international law, they’re allowed to resist. Not massacre civilians resist. There’s a difference. One is a war crime, the other is what France got medals for and it doesn’t stop there. Lebanon, Syria, Iraq and yes, clutch your pearls even Iran, have every right to respond when Israeli jets pop over the border uninvited. That’s not “terror,” darling, that’s Article 51 of the UN Charter. Look it up, Karen. It’s right there between “don’t invade sovereign nations” and “stop acting like you own the place.”
Of course, we only enforce those rules when it’s convenient. When Israel flattens an apartment block in Damascus or turns a refugee camp into dust and dental records, it’s a “precision strike.” Very clean, very ethical like war with a scented candle but if someone fires back with a home-cooked rocket made from plumbing parts and sheer spite, that’s a “major escalation” and CNN breaks out the scary red graphics.
So let’s not pretend we’re living in a rule-based order. It’s not rules it’s vibes. Imperial, colonial, selectively outraged vibes and if you don’t like that, maybe have a word with your favourite arms dealer.
Let’s Talk American Money Blood on the Budget
Oho, you thought Israel was footing the bill for all those smart bombs and white phosphorus fireworks? Bless your heart. No, sweetheart they're not maxing out their Tesco Clubcard for this. They're swiping your credit card. Yep, the Stars and Stripes Platinum.
Let me break it down for you. Uncle Sam lovingly hand delivers $3.8 billion a year in military aid to Israel like it’s a holiday hamper thanks to a little love letter called the Memorandum of Understanding, signed by none other than Barack “Hope and Drones” Obama. That’s nearly $10 million a day. Meanwhile, American kids are eating ketchup packets for dinner and praying their GoFundMe covers insulin.
During the 2023–2025 Gaza horror show where schools became craters and children starved on livestream good ol’ President Joe “Build Back Better (Bombs)” Biden didn’t just double down. He pushed for emergency military funding, like Israel’s billion-dollar war machine was about to be repo’d by collections.
That’s right, America. While your veterans freeze under bridges and your minimum wage can’t buy a sandwich, your government is out here acting like a genocidal sugar daddy making sure every airstrike comes with a complimentary invoice stamped “Paid for by U.S. taxpayers.”
So the next time you see a clip of a child pulled from rubble in Rafah, remember that’s not just Israeli policy it’s your line item. Your taxes at work. You’re not just voting every four years you’re sponsoring war crimes like it's a bloody Kickstarter.
Sources? Oo yes, I read Congressional Research Service, Al Jazeera, not just whatever Tucker Carlson hallucinated last night. So spare me the freedom talk. You’re not defending democracy. You’re funding demolition.
Democracy Immunity from Consequences
( You don’t get a “Get Out of War Crimes Free” card just because you had an election once.)
Let’s get something straight fellow grumpy readers being a democracy doesn’t give you a backstage pass to violate international law like it’s a music festival and the Geneva Conventions are just “suggestions.” No, Israel doesn’t get to flatten cities and then flash a voter turnout percentage like it’s some kind of diplomatic forcefield. “but we had elections!” So did Apartheid South Africa what’s your next trick, quoting Pinochet?
What Israel’s government is doing isn’t “self-defence.” It’s not even “bad aim.” It’s collective punishment. You know, the thing dictatorships get called out for right before someone drops sanctions or a drone. Entire families are being wiped out like browser history, and we’re still hearing, “It’s complicated.” No, Karen, it’s not complicated. It’s a war crime. The only “complexity” here is how many synonyms we need for obliteration and anyone who can scroll past a flattened refugee camp, glance at the death toll, and still mumble “both sides” deserves a lifetime ban from using the word “balanced.” You’re not neutral. You’re either clueless, comfortably corrupt, or operating with the geopolitical IQ of a TikTok dance trend.
So no, democracy isn’t a licence to kill. It's not a golden halo that turns every airstrike into a moral victory. If anything, it makes it worse because you're choosing this carnage in broad daylight with press briefings and PowerPoints. Congratulations, you’ve weaponised the ballot box. Geneva’s rolling in its grave, and so should anyone still pretending this is business as usual.
Now my final word from a Grumpy Journalist (Because Apparently I Have to Spell Out the Obvious)
Let me make one thing painfully, unavoidably clear before the trolls warm up their keyboards Israel can exist. It must. It will. No one’s calling for the country to vanish this isn’t Hogwarts, and we’re not casting disappearing spells but this Israeli government? This blood-soaked, ultra-nationalist, Bible-thumping boy band of messianic maniacs? This smug little cabal of racists, crooks, and cosplay fascists? They. Have. Got. To. Go. Preferably via ballot box, but I won’t be picky. They don’t speak for all Israelis. They don’t even speak for sanity. What they do speak is fluent war with a minor in death and a PhD in how to embarrass an entire nation on the world stage. If there’s one thing they export better than surveillance tech, it’s shame and as for the so-called “civilised world” (LOL), it’s high time you put down the diplomatic blindfolds and took a long, sober look at what you're endorsing a regime that makes apartheid look like a rough draft. Stop backing them like it’s the Eurovision final. Start backing the actual principle that holds your entire rules-based fantasy together.
No nation is above the law.
Not Iran.
Not Russia.
Not the U.S.A (put the drone down, please).
And definitely, absolutely, 100% not Israel no matter how many lobbyists, hashtags, or emotionally manipulative press releases they throw at you. If your idea of justice is “some people get consequences, and others get excuses,” then what you’ve got isn’t democracy.
It’s just PR for empire and frankly, we’ve had enough of that nonsense.
🖨️ Like what you read? Print it out. Post it. Scream it through a megaphone outside Parliament.
Hell, wrap it around a croissant and deliver it to the U.S. Embassy with a polite note:
“Your client is out of control. Kindly intervene.”
Because silence isn’t neutral. It’s compliance.